


Numb

by felinedetached



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Only Rose is in this one ngl, all the others are like mentioned, i need to stop doing this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 13:15:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11380935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felinedetached/pseuds/felinedetached
Summary: I feel numb most of the time - the lower I get the higher I'll climb and I will wonder why, I got dark only to shine. Looking for the golden light, oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice.





	Numb

Sometimes, you swear your mind is a one-way street. You get stuck into things that you hope desperately are worth your time, and you don’t think of anything else. This time, it is a person you’re focused on. Or, at least, it was.

 

Your senses are dull, nerves no longer casting a shadow over what is to come. This is low - it’s what your mother did, and you hated her for it. Now, you see why, and you regret the hate that clouded your mind in the past.

 

When your date arrives, her light is blinding.

 

You don’t mind.

 

* * *

 

Jade and John are uncontactable, and you’re slowly losing contact with Dave. You can see it happening, but you don’t do anything to stop it. Your life is slowly spiralling out of your control, but you can’t admit it - not to yourself, not to anyone else.

 

You’ve always helped them. They don’t need to deal with your bullshit on top of everything else. They’ve never needed to deal with your bullshit. That’s what it is - bullshit. Your suffering was not as bad as Dave’s - hell, it was barely suffering. It was miscommunication and a juvenile hatred of your guardian.

 

You’ve never told them about any  _ real  _ issues, because you’ve never had any.

 

You shouldn’t start now.

 

* * *

 

The meteor is silent and dark around you. You know you should stop - she would never have wanted this of you. Kanaya doesn’t want this for you.

 

You have no energy left to get up. Your throat is dry and scratchy, and you swallow thickly, lying against the wall.

 

You’re bad for them, really. Don’t help them with anything - all you really cared about was being a good psychologist - cracking them open to access the secrets.

 

If you’re honest with yourself, you never really cared.

 

* * *

 

You never had to fight to reach the light.

 

The light came to you.

 

* * *

 

_ “Rose?” _

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on tumblr [@felinedetached](https://felinedetached.tumblr.com)


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